It can be difficult to find your personal style, if you’re stuck in a negative mindset about the way you look. It’s all very well for me, other Personal Stylists and whoever else to give you tips & tricks to try and boost your confidence. But true self-esteem comes from within.
It’s something I think about a lot. The small ways in which we are negatively impacting our own self-confidence, then wondering why we don’t feel good about ourselves.
I’m on a mission to reject diet culture because it thrives on us feeling negatively about our bodies. Now I’m not here to preach that you should all do the same, but toxic diet culture affects my clients in many ways. They feel they shouldn’t wear certain things, they try to hide their bodies, they don’t allow themselves to buy clothes until they shrink their bodies, and so on.
Self-compassion doesn’t just mean you have to immediately start loving yourself because it’s not that easy. It’s about not punishing your body and living your life free from the constant thoughts about how to change it. You also don’t need anybody else to approve of the way you look. Focus on feeling healthy and happy in your skin. Don’t place your self-worth in the hands of others.
It is possible to learn to love the way you look through your style, without needing to change your body. Many find that learning about their body shape helps enormously, because they’re no longer dressing to hide, but to accentuate. Your body shape tends to stay the same no matter what size you are, so why not learn how to dress it?
Colour Analysis helps to find the most flattering colours for you, to help you glow on the days you’re not feeling your most sparkly self. Also, a personal stylist can help you identify your style personality so you’re dressing in a way that makes you feel good.
But all these things may need to be done alongside some mindset work.
One major influence on how a lot of us feel, is to do with the content we consume every day. If you’re seeing idealised lives and bodies and wardrobes on your social media, is that making you feel good? Unfollow any account that makes you feel bad about yourself or jealous. Stop looking at ‘before and after’ photos. Be honest with yourself about whether that motivates you or upsets you.
Look for diverse accounts or influencers with a similar body type to you (Mys Tyler is great for this.) It’s important that you’re seeing how clothes could realistically look on you, not only on models or potentially photoshopped pictures. Research has shown that the more body positive and diverse content you see (rather than ‘inspirational’ content), the more positive you feel about yourself.
I’m always talking about intentional purchases. Now I’m asking you to stop mindlessly scrolling and start intentionally scrolling. Make sure you’re very carefully curating what you see.
Yes, what I do is about ‘appearance’ – but it’s more than skin deep. It’s about confidence and happiness. I have two children now, and I refuse to allow them to hear any talk of diets, body sizes, etc because there’s more to life. I know that you know that. Start living as though there is. Your size truly is the least interesting thing about you. And I mean that in the kindest possible way.
Life is too short to put your life on hold because of negative body image. Are you living the life you want? Are you dressing the way you’d like to? Are you being as kind to yourself as you are to your friends?
Comment below or contact me for a chat about how I can help.